Time was not the only entity that did not exist during moments, I did
not feel anything else except music and her breath. We were dancing
without any worry of time or conscience or of the world around us. The
first thing that remember is Katie's eyes, then there was her smile.
Both were glittering like Venus in early September.
Every time I smelled her breath, I was brought back to the real world, her body felt sensitive today. Sensitive, Katie, sensitivity, she was different today, she had never felt so warm. Her grip of my right hand was troubling me. A little girl was holding on to me wanting me to protect her from a nightmare. Her eyes were closed. I wanted them so, I wanted us to last forever.
"you are warmer then usual", I asked Katie as I tried reading her eyes.
them started teasing me "is that a compliment!"
"Where were you, whole day?", I wanted her to speak.
"is that important right now"
I touched her neck: her head took ground on my chest,
"this is perfect".
I gripped her in my arms. Katie was not warm, she was burning. I wanted to hold the world guilty.
"yes, it is; very perfect", I slipped my arms down her waist, the music went alive and devoured the world.
Why are your hand shivering, Kate?, My mind was pushing for answers.
"answers always asking for answers. What will you do with so many answers Weld? I am here isn't that enough for you. Didn't you always want this; us; close together, nothing between us."
"I have to worry", my feet were not feeling strong.
--
"Please come to meet me, tomorrow", It was Katie's voice message. She never called. It was always us searching for that storm.
"For what?", I had already signaled Lee to isolate the call from the network.
:"Wanted to meet you, a few moments together!"
"Are you expecting me to help?" I was calm, I had to be.
"I am asking you for dinner, would you come?" her voice was a lot simmer then usual, "don't bother anyone else."
Everybody knew that she had crossed her line. I guess she knew too. I was expecting Katie's voice to be as boastful as always. She was best among us, most experienced, most lively; but she was wild, she was stronger then us all, and she knew it. Rubin called her an untamed task.
"If she is expecting to bailed out from this, she is so mistaken this time" Lee was shifting between screens, his chair making a different kind of music, "Is she really expecting us to bail us out of this?. I am telling you, I had warned her a hundred times. I did warn of this".
"This call is going on record, Weld, this call has got to go on record. We got nothing to do with this mess, this madness of hers", Lee was squabbing. still shifting between glittering screens. Pushing one button then another. Uncomfortable as if a broken down propeller.
I had a memo wit her name on it. with red ink littered over the paper. All said one word, squared, in a box "approved'. As if on that puny few inch wide sheet of paper the council wanted to crush her for, as it read her insubordination. Nothing was supposed to go on record. The whole pacific incidence was to be covered with red. As if the red darkening the waters around Liad Island was not enough. They wanted their owns blood. 'Justice', as it said, 'must be served'.
"This is not going on record, Lee" I barked at him.
Now, even he wanted to teach me, as they termed it -reality. "She is mad, Weld! what she did is beyond madness, we are not part of this. This is not us". I guess he was shouting, but it was not important. He had meanwhile pressed a few buttons, my attention was on the screen. More redness then I could ever create. There were red dots and their were red lines. It was beautiful like a painting by a two year old girl to fill a page with crayons.
"I am going to give her a visit, you coming?" my voice was reflecting authority.
"you crazy? we will be on a blade if someone found this"
Lee really does not understand anything, loyalty, friendship, love, "Go and inform Matt, tell him he is coming too"
I think I took the last breath out of Lees breast, His eye sockets were coming out. After a few moments, he spoke. Eyes like a cube of gelatin. "You serious?"
I had turned my face and I was looking at the child playing in front of me. That crayon in her hands. I could feel every move she was making.
For a moment i thought lee had left the room, but then he spoke, slowly like a shadow, "you better know what you are doing. I am going to Matt's cabin. Give him a call, explain the thing, because I won't."
--
"why did you did it, Katie?" I was still looking for a window down her eyes, "what was the need of this chaos".
She was always the best, a lot better then me, I could feel her inside my mind. She was reading everything. She grew more silent. "You have seen the file haven't you?", She was shadowing me like a mountain, "Be truthful from your heart Weld; It was beautiful wasn't it?"
"Is this your justification", I was still looking for a window.
"When will you learn, Weld! When would you start accepting yourself? We are not them."; her eyes were stone, "we need to express, come out, make our marks".
"That was no mark Katie" I was shouting, "It was unacceptable"; I was angry. I wanted to smash the glasses near by, smash the table next to us into pieces. But instead, i was at in inches distance from her, I was holding her close to me. I was not holding her, i was crushing her. I wanted her to scream, beg for mercy but instead she started melting in my embrace. I wanted her to become a part of me, forever. Instead I kissed her hard. I was feeling her heat mixing with mine.
"Why didn't you think about us?"
"You know Weld! all the while, while I was dancing, I was only thinking of you". She kissed me slowly, beneath my right ear, "I wanted to tell you, how much did I love you; I wanted to show you, what we are; I did it all for you." she was whispering in my eyes "i want you to wake up".
I was already walking away from the shadow of the mountain. away from the dark embracing me. I guess, I was not listening. There was only a distance of two tables between us, but I was already an ocean away.
"Who else did you bring", she finally broke the ice. I felt relieved.
"Lee is outside" I could imagine him smoking a cigarette, making circles all above him. I was returning to myself. I had filled two glasses; hesitated for a moment, when I saw her face in the glass. "Matt has also come". Two perfect glasses filled a few inches, equally, from the bottom. Similar yet different. I walked closer to her. Attempting to escape away from her as much as I could.
Her eyes were still glittering like Venus. I gave her a glass, planted a kiss on her cheeks, looked into her eyes. We both were gazing at each other cold, out right cold.
She was expecting, Matt.
Then She spoke, tell me for once that you liked it Weld. Please tell me. She held my hands, pushing her thumb over the back of my palm. But I was no-longer listening. I was far away in a plane, where no voice could reach me. There were only stars.
I was walking towards the door. I do not know what she said, did she say good bye, or did she smile, or did she cry(she never cried). The gate was a few feet away. It was lighted like an airstrip. I walked out, closed the gate behind me. Aware only of the darkness outside.
"it was beautiful, my love"
...Apurva
Every time I smelled her breath, I was brought back to the real world, her body felt sensitive today. Sensitive, Katie, sensitivity, she was different today, she had never felt so warm. Her grip of my right hand was troubling me. A little girl was holding on to me wanting me to protect her from a nightmare. Her eyes were closed. I wanted them so, I wanted us to last forever.
"you are warmer then usual", I asked Katie as I tried reading her eyes.
them started teasing me "is that a compliment!"
"Where were you, whole day?", I wanted her to speak.
"is that important right now"
I touched her neck: her head took ground on my chest,
"this is perfect".
I gripped her in my arms. Katie was not warm, she was burning. I wanted to hold the world guilty.
"yes, it is; very perfect", I slipped my arms down her waist, the music went alive and devoured the world.
Why are your hand shivering, Kate?, My mind was pushing for answers.
"answers always asking for answers. What will you do with so many answers Weld? I am here isn't that enough for you. Didn't you always want this; us; close together, nothing between us."
"I have to worry", my feet were not feeling strong.
--
"Please come to meet me, tomorrow", It was Katie's voice message. She never called. It was always us searching for that storm.
"For what?", I had already signaled Lee to isolate the call from the network.
:"Wanted to meet you, a few moments together!"
"Are you expecting me to help?" I was calm, I had to be.
"I am asking you for dinner, would you come?" her voice was a lot simmer then usual, "don't bother anyone else."
Everybody knew that she had crossed her line. I guess she knew too. I was expecting Katie's voice to be as boastful as always. She was best among us, most experienced, most lively; but she was wild, she was stronger then us all, and she knew it. Rubin called her an untamed task.
"If she is expecting to bailed out from this, she is so mistaken this time" Lee was shifting between screens, his chair making a different kind of music, "Is she really expecting us to bail us out of this?. I am telling you, I had warned her a hundred times. I did warn of this".
"This call is going on record, Weld, this call has got to go on record. We got nothing to do with this mess, this madness of hers", Lee was squabbing. still shifting between glittering screens. Pushing one button then another. Uncomfortable as if a broken down propeller.
I had a memo wit her name on it. with red ink littered over the paper. All said one word, squared, in a box "approved'. As if on that puny few inch wide sheet of paper the council wanted to crush her for, as it read her insubordination. Nothing was supposed to go on record. The whole pacific incidence was to be covered with red. As if the red darkening the waters around Liad Island was not enough. They wanted their owns blood. 'Justice', as it said, 'must be served'.
"This is not going on record, Lee" I barked at him.
Now, even he wanted to teach me, as they termed it -reality. "She is mad, Weld! what she did is beyond madness, we are not part of this. This is not us". I guess he was shouting, but it was not important. He had meanwhile pressed a few buttons, my attention was on the screen. More redness then I could ever create. There were red dots and their were red lines. It was beautiful like a painting by a two year old girl to fill a page with crayons.
"I am going to give her a visit, you coming?" my voice was reflecting authority.
"you crazy? we will be on a blade if someone found this"
Lee really does not understand anything, loyalty, friendship, love, "Go and inform Matt, tell him he is coming too"
I think I took the last breath out of Lees breast, His eye sockets were coming out. After a few moments, he spoke. Eyes like a cube of gelatin. "You serious?"
I had turned my face and I was looking at the child playing in front of me. That crayon in her hands. I could feel every move she was making.
For a moment i thought lee had left the room, but then he spoke, slowly like a shadow, "you better know what you are doing. I am going to Matt's cabin. Give him a call, explain the thing, because I won't."
--
"why did you did it, Katie?" I was still looking for a window down her eyes, "what was the need of this chaos".
She was always the best, a lot better then me, I could feel her inside my mind. She was reading everything. She grew more silent. "You have seen the file haven't you?", She was shadowing me like a mountain, "Be truthful from your heart Weld; It was beautiful wasn't it?"
"Is this your justification", I was still looking for a window.
"When will you learn, Weld! When would you start accepting yourself? We are not them."; her eyes were stone, "we need to express, come out, make our marks".
"That was no mark Katie" I was shouting, "It was unacceptable"; I was angry. I wanted to smash the glasses near by, smash the table next to us into pieces. But instead, i was at in inches distance from her, I was holding her close to me. I was not holding her, i was crushing her. I wanted her to scream, beg for mercy but instead she started melting in my embrace. I wanted her to become a part of me, forever. Instead I kissed her hard. I was feeling her heat mixing with mine.
"Why didn't you think about us?"
"You know Weld! all the while, while I was dancing, I was only thinking of you". She kissed me slowly, beneath my right ear, "I wanted to tell you, how much did I love you; I wanted to show you, what we are; I did it all for you." she was whispering in my eyes "i want you to wake up".
I was already walking away from the shadow of the mountain. away from the dark embracing me. I guess, I was not listening. There was only a distance of two tables between us, but I was already an ocean away.
"Who else did you bring", she finally broke the ice. I felt relieved.
"Lee is outside" I could imagine him smoking a cigarette, making circles all above him. I was returning to myself. I had filled two glasses; hesitated for a moment, when I saw her face in the glass. "Matt has also come". Two perfect glasses filled a few inches, equally, from the bottom. Similar yet different. I walked closer to her. Attempting to escape away from her as much as I could.
Her eyes were still glittering like Venus. I gave her a glass, planted a kiss on her cheeks, looked into her eyes. We both were gazing at each other cold, out right cold.
She was expecting, Matt.
Then She spoke, tell me for once that you liked it Weld. Please tell me. She held my hands, pushing her thumb over the back of my palm. But I was no-longer listening. I was far away in a plane, where no voice could reach me. There were only stars.
I was walking towards the door. I do not know what she said, did she say good bye, or did she smile, or did she cry(she never cried). The gate was a few feet away. It was lighted like an airstrip. I walked out, closed the gate behind me. Aware only of the darkness outside.
"it was beautiful, my love"
...Apurva
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