It hides not where the kingdom was. But it stands tall, far where only the stars light the night sky.
The great banyan tree stood far away from the lighted cities, far from the reach of kings, princes and the landlords.
Legend had it, that the tree was planted a thousand years back by the lady Ornatia.
She was the queen of the land; but she never acted as one. She was called the keeper.
I know not of the order of trade over her lands but yes the lands were cared for. The trees and the birds were cared for. The animals and water kingdoms were looked after. A wise old man, I once met, told me that the few waters were rich as they were connected with the great oceans thousand miles away.
Legends they are, myth they could be. I was so told by the fathers of the house. The wise traders even called it a story build by a queen grandmother to make her princesses sleep. They had traveled even farther then the waters and as far as the lands of east and west and found the tree nowhere. The kingdom was no where. How come, if the tree was real, they never found it. A kingdom as rich as written in pages cannot exist without trade.
Yes! True they sounded, and as my brothers repeated again-n-again - to a man of world like me they do not earn bread.
But the shoes were not fitting right, they were of my own size but they could not gather up the dark I was. But yet! I headed for the merchant quarters. The place where the stories mattered least- the only matter was how much can I earn to the merchant. He was a good man in his own limits of fortune.
I had several of beauties working around me, and the times were sweet for I was young. The dreams of touching the creams of the colors ruled my minds, even the rising sun, the approaching dusk then the
Moon ahead ruling the nights did not matter. It was a dream of its kind. It felt as if I was here to stand forever. But the moons didn’t agree with me. They grew then disappeared, then they shined again.
The only mirror reflecting time was my beard which grew with time and the paychecks in my account which came before next month. And then again the time disappeared. One day my little nephew asked me a strange question- what if the tree of thousand years is real, would it have a name. I knew not what to say to the little heart. I had never seen it- I know not, little crittle. I haven’t seen it. Brother Mooros says it is just a story to make me sleep, is he true. I could see in her eyes a light, I know not, little crittle.
Is it only a story, traveling in my own world of lust and glamor planning unreal mating seasons. I was thirsty enough to get rude to her and say- Yes!! It is just a story. But the moment I turned towards her and looked into her eyes that glitter in her eyes. I could lie no more- could be. For a moment something inside wanted to lie and say- it is real. But I did not. And told her the answers I heard from the story tellers. It all is inside, if you dream it is, if you do not it is not.
I was unable to think again of those women in glittering dresses and about those men walking below holding them in arms. I tried again to imagine a woman in my arms on that bed covered with silver below us, little swan adventures. But I failed.
I looked again, the same place which told me of the stories. Yes! The stars sang again
Real it is. Real it shall always be.
What you believe it is, what you not, it is.
--
I do not know why! But I asked him a question- ever too strange of me to ask- have to ever hear of the great banyan? Do you think it is real?
And the man disappeared. I was dreaming with open eyes. The craziness mattered not. I looked outside the window the cart was passing the rallies of shops and beautiful women all around. A rather lovely one caught my eyes; slender, marvelously dressed to hold even the winds. Next moment even she was gone. Where you wish to go! I gave him the money and bought the ticket. An hour of peace was bought in a few rupees and it brought the devil back inside of me.
What if I go and search for the tree? The devil was astonished? Why ask me this question?
You are the closest and I know you will not lie to me.
But I do, lie.
But I trust you on this.
This is not fair! I am a devil, you can not trust me. You are not supposed to.
I smiled and looked again back to his eyes. Was he afraid! Was he planning, but there was nothing I blankness existed. He too looked into my eyes and said- I know not.
And I looked at him with astonishment and changed my words- does the exists or does it not.
His eyes were even blanker as if pulling me inside and then I heard him say-
I can not say yes or I can not say no to thy question. For I know not.
There was only the whistle of train passing by. The time was not existing, the time never existed the passing of train brought a silence, nothing could fill. He did not say no, he did not say yes.
Yes! He did not say no.
….the silence was there to stay.
You should have lied to the boy!
I could not he was looking deep into my soul. You are a soul, stupid. He was looking inside of me!
What does he knows then? Asked another.
That the doubt exists.
The tree is not real! Stop lying will you. We do not know.
So the boy knows now- the truth is not hidden.
You should have seen the signs, before going to him.
The happened can not be changed, said and old brown colored object from behind the dark.
He will move away now! But where will he go?
Food remains food. He is still a being, let him go. the places he can leave to are again in our world. But the other places could be far away in someone elses territory. We can not feed on him.
The happened can not be changed.
Make it difficult for him to leave! Try to hold him stronger.
Angrily the crowd dispersed.
Only the old object and the devil were left.
The object came into the light and was looking more human then any object around.
Why could you not lie?
A silence followed.
did he really look deep into your eyes? This concerns me.
Father does the tree really exist?
They were gazing at each other. The lion and his cub both waited for the storm to explode.
The seed of doubt has been sown. I will have to take care that he does not escape. But you have shown the way, go ahead with the boy. Once you leave you will be hunted too. I myself will hunt you. But as a father! I want you to be with him.
Does the tree really exist?
I am not obliged to answer to your question, little one.
Now go and find a way to return back!
It was not a fairy tale! Was it?
No it was not.
what about the ghost part papa! Was it real too?
I aren’t sure.
Why not? I don’t know!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Traveller's world
The roads they felt alien to me.
Everything felt alien, even the vehicles on the road. I looked at the traffic headed towards me, for a moment I had a shiver. All headed for me- are they going to crush me! I started running, but the leg was not ready, trapped in a bandage, it did not let me run. I was limping biting my teeth, crawled as fast as I could until the truck came too close. I had only heard it pass. Then I heard the bike, then the car, engines, horns wind everything just passed by. Like a man who has just been spared by an over running train, I opened my eyes, putting down the hands shielding me. The vehicles they all passed by, a busy road. And then a bicycle crossed, an old man ringing his age old bell, enjoying his ride.
I knew the road I was on, it was the same one which crossed my house every day. But it was different, not because of the terrain or the buildings or the people who lived next to my home. It just was. I never knew anyone of my neighbors’. But today they all were staring right at me. And they all felt different, I wondered why? The moment I had stepped on the road- it was feeling of some different material.
“I did not dare wake up”- a voice said.
Another said- “move ahead.”
I looked at the mart way ahead and said to myself, that is a familiar place. Let’s head down towards it. And I moved ahead, but the roads they were moving too, I was sure. And now this weird accident! I was sure things were different.
I need to reach the mart.
The bicycle man, he was still around, I knew from the sound of his bell, he is a shadow from the game master. So I kept an eye open for him and his weird bell. If something else will happen, first thing to happen would be his bell. Tring-tring.
There it was- Tring-Tring.
But what would change, i was alert, ready for another weird accident, no vehicles.
But then the ring again and then again, I knew it was him, but so many!! And I could see him everywhere around me, ringing the bell. It was pain, the sound piercing my brain. Same ring, repeating, and I could feel it coming close by getting louder, louder then the voices inside and I could feel my head banging. I again closed my eyes, shielding behind my hands, I could not take it anymore and screamed-
STOP!!!!
-- --
And it there it was, silence. I did not open my eyes, I was a bit scared, I stayed that way until the silence engulfed me. Until the silence took over my heart; and stayed behind. A minute may be, or may be more. I opened my eyes. There was no bicycle, but there I was right in front of the mart. I looked behind; the road was there. Everything was at its place. But not me, I was here five hundred meters away from where I should have been, on a road next to a shop haunted by a weird bicycle man. I cannot be here in front of the mart. The mart looked familiar, the smell, the feel the people everything felt similar. But it cannot be. Replication is not a very difficult task, I knew that. So I moved a few steps back, down the porch and looked at the mart again. It was same alright, but I did not trust it. So, I got further down, took the steps, holding myself against the rails I walked away. The only place I had trusted to end the dream, I wasn’t going to go in there. It was weird but I chose to stay back. I don’t know why, but I did.
And again a voice spoke inside, "don’t u dare wake up."
There was no bicycle man around. So, I walked ahead. I could feel my legs a bit light. I checked, the bandage was there, but it felt light, I tried a jump or two, felt fine. So I moved ahead. Checked ahead on the road for the bus, there was none, I closed my eyes and checked further, there was none. No meaning in taking the shortcut, legs are feeling fine too, let’s take the normal route.
And I headed ahead, the flair was calling me, I knew. Even with all the weirdness around, I knew my heart, it wanted to feel the sweat, and it looked at the empty ground. A round or two and things will be fine. I tightened the bag, put my earphones on, switched on the music, shifted my gear and started the jog.
I knew my pattern, a round or two slow then one or two exercising the legs to extreme, then a few rounds until I lose the breath then with a sudden rush, a sprint until I can’t breathe anymore. The only pointer to stop- the legs don’t move anymore.
The moment after I took my first step, nothing mattered, where I was, where I am nothing, it was me and the run. First round- legs felt fine. By the mid of second round, I could feel energy inside, I turned the music louder. The world was shrinking now- there was me, the music and the ground. And I started to speed up. That was my universe, this is my universe. And I sprinted, the sweat increased. Turning on like a tap and the world was no more. I was getting breathless.
Until I realized, suddenly, I could not put my leg ahead. It stuck, I could not understand- looked behind and found the ground gone, I could see was infinite below- I wondered but I knew- suddenly I looked ahead, And there was no ground ahead but a rock just a rock and l leaped to hold the rock. I knew what it was, but the moment was too risky to think, I had to secure myself first. The thought of my position- holding a small rock half a feet up, with second a grip going inside a crack, one leg on a solid piece of rock second on a root. I had to move fast, I was exhausted, But I had to move. No meaning in hanging next to abysmal and thinking. I started searching for openings, for impressions for rocks I had to climb up.
But even with all the weird feelings inside, there was a peace. The place I knew, it did not feel alien. It felt like home. After a climb of 30 odd meters, I knew the place. I was on a face of palek ridge. The distance to the top was more than 100 meters and the distance below 600 meters. Enough to end the dream and may be me too. But I knew my breadth and decided to take not that risk. But there was something else; my hands knew where to find the next step. I been here, I been here! Suddenly there he was, the bicycle man, for a moment I shivered and a few stones slipped from grip and tumbled below without the noise, was it the end?
There is no place to go, returning blind on palek was equivalent to jumping; the only way was up. I waited looking at those shining eyes, not of devil, not of angel; they were eyes holding my future.
And suddenly he raised a hand, a hand that felt friendly. Was it out of option or out of desperation? - But I pushed my hand into his grip. Which held like a rock, a machine hook in fact and with the crane lifting me; I climbed up.
I knew the cave, I been here! I felt that- I been here. Suddenly his two hands headed for my head and plucked the ear phone cord off. I realized-I was blank till now. And suddenly- there was the music of silence and the gush of winds. And suddenly, for the first time since last 30 minutes, I felt the gravity of situation. I could listen to my own breath and feel the sweat clogging over my eye brows. I looked at him, a tall slender guy, unlike me- old may be in 70s. White hair, well built, his face was familiar, he was fit a mountaineer may be. But he was a threat; I searched for a rock behind, nothing. I was ready.
He was smiling. One of his hands went into his pocket, and was taking out something. I can fight against a knife, I thought. But it came out with a pen. I felt a bit amazed. But he just smiled and handed it ahead.
What is it? Who are you?- I asked trying to threaten him.
“It’s yours” I looked curiously at him, “you dropped it here yesterday”.
I was not on a mountain, yesterday,
“You were”, and don’t lose it again.
He pushed it ahead into my palm and suddenly made it for the ridge; jumped.
-- --
I was astonished- Hey!!!
I searched the bottom. I looked at it with horror, disbelief, until a click was heard and I saw a red cloth widen up into a triangle, it was a glider. The heart was thumping wild as I watched the glider fly away into the mist down below and then disappear. I was taken aback; my heart was still catching up. For a moment I sat back, the shirt soaked in sweat and mind racing with slide shows & music, the whole world was racing. I closed my eyes, tired, feeling helpless. A moment of peace, as the clocked ticked. I was in peace, no winds, no noise just blankness.
Hey wake up! Wake up mate! Your stop is here- he was shaking me up with my shoulders.
I did not feel weird, just opened my eyes- looked around. The person next to me was shaking me up. “Mister, you will miss your stop. It’s announced 2 minutes.”
I did not say anything- A thank you, may be. Plucking the headset back in my ears; switched the play mode on- “hurricane” and walked ahead. Two minutes ahead, I was down the bus.
I was down the bus, back into my life. But grip in my hand was strong, I could feel the pen. I wasn’t shaking- I was a bit shivering- needed a coffee. I knew where I can find it. The song changed to a sweet melody, I was headed west. I knew the place, no chance of getting lost.
-- --
..........Apurva
Everything felt alien, even the vehicles on the road. I looked at the traffic headed towards me, for a moment I had a shiver. All headed for me- are they going to crush me! I started running, but the leg was not ready, trapped in a bandage, it did not let me run. I was limping biting my teeth, crawled as fast as I could until the truck came too close. I had only heard it pass. Then I heard the bike, then the car, engines, horns wind everything just passed by. Like a man who has just been spared by an over running train, I opened my eyes, putting down the hands shielding me. The vehicles they all passed by, a busy road. And then a bicycle crossed, an old man ringing his age old bell, enjoying his ride.
I knew the road I was on, it was the same one which crossed my house every day. But it was different, not because of the terrain or the buildings or the people who lived next to my home. It just was. I never knew anyone of my neighbors’. But today they all were staring right at me. And they all felt different, I wondered why? The moment I had stepped on the road- it was feeling of some different material.
“I did not dare wake up”- a voice said.
Another said- “move ahead.”
I looked at the mart way ahead and said to myself, that is a familiar place. Let’s head down towards it. And I moved ahead, but the roads they were moving too, I was sure. And now this weird accident! I was sure things were different.
I need to reach the mart.
The bicycle man, he was still around, I knew from the sound of his bell, he is a shadow from the game master. So I kept an eye open for him and his weird bell. If something else will happen, first thing to happen would be his bell. Tring-tring.
There it was- Tring-Tring.
But what would change, i was alert, ready for another weird accident, no vehicles.
But then the ring again and then again, I knew it was him, but so many!! And I could see him everywhere around me, ringing the bell. It was pain, the sound piercing my brain. Same ring, repeating, and I could feel it coming close by getting louder, louder then the voices inside and I could feel my head banging. I again closed my eyes, shielding behind my hands, I could not take it anymore and screamed-
STOP!!!!
-- --
And it there it was, silence. I did not open my eyes, I was a bit scared, I stayed that way until the silence engulfed me. Until the silence took over my heart; and stayed behind. A minute may be, or may be more. I opened my eyes. There was no bicycle, but there I was right in front of the mart. I looked behind; the road was there. Everything was at its place. But not me, I was here five hundred meters away from where I should have been, on a road next to a shop haunted by a weird bicycle man. I cannot be here in front of the mart. The mart looked familiar, the smell, the feel the people everything felt similar. But it cannot be. Replication is not a very difficult task, I knew that. So I moved a few steps back, down the porch and looked at the mart again. It was same alright, but I did not trust it. So, I got further down, took the steps, holding myself against the rails I walked away. The only place I had trusted to end the dream, I wasn’t going to go in there. It was weird but I chose to stay back. I don’t know why, but I did.
And again a voice spoke inside, "don’t u dare wake up."
There was no bicycle man around. So, I walked ahead. I could feel my legs a bit light. I checked, the bandage was there, but it felt light, I tried a jump or two, felt fine. So I moved ahead. Checked ahead on the road for the bus, there was none, I closed my eyes and checked further, there was none. No meaning in taking the shortcut, legs are feeling fine too, let’s take the normal route.
And I headed ahead, the flair was calling me, I knew. Even with all the weirdness around, I knew my heart, it wanted to feel the sweat, and it looked at the empty ground. A round or two and things will be fine. I tightened the bag, put my earphones on, switched on the music, shifted my gear and started the jog.
I knew my pattern, a round or two slow then one or two exercising the legs to extreme, then a few rounds until I lose the breath then with a sudden rush, a sprint until I can’t breathe anymore. The only pointer to stop- the legs don’t move anymore.
The moment after I took my first step, nothing mattered, where I was, where I am nothing, it was me and the run. First round- legs felt fine. By the mid of second round, I could feel energy inside, I turned the music louder. The world was shrinking now- there was me, the music and the ground. And I started to speed up. That was my universe, this is my universe. And I sprinted, the sweat increased. Turning on like a tap and the world was no more. I was getting breathless.
Until I realized, suddenly, I could not put my leg ahead. It stuck, I could not understand- looked behind and found the ground gone, I could see was infinite below- I wondered but I knew- suddenly I looked ahead, And there was no ground ahead but a rock just a rock and l leaped to hold the rock. I knew what it was, but the moment was too risky to think, I had to secure myself first. The thought of my position- holding a small rock half a feet up, with second a grip going inside a crack, one leg on a solid piece of rock second on a root. I had to move fast, I was exhausted, But I had to move. No meaning in hanging next to abysmal and thinking. I started searching for openings, for impressions for rocks I had to climb up.
But even with all the weird feelings inside, there was a peace. The place I knew, it did not feel alien. It felt like home. After a climb of 30 odd meters, I knew the place. I was on a face of palek ridge. The distance to the top was more than 100 meters and the distance below 600 meters. Enough to end the dream and may be me too. But I knew my breadth and decided to take not that risk. But there was something else; my hands knew where to find the next step. I been here, I been here! Suddenly there he was, the bicycle man, for a moment I shivered and a few stones slipped from grip and tumbled below without the noise, was it the end?
There is no place to go, returning blind on palek was equivalent to jumping; the only way was up. I waited looking at those shining eyes, not of devil, not of angel; they were eyes holding my future.
And suddenly he raised a hand, a hand that felt friendly. Was it out of option or out of desperation? - But I pushed my hand into his grip. Which held like a rock, a machine hook in fact and with the crane lifting me; I climbed up.
I knew the cave, I been here! I felt that- I been here. Suddenly his two hands headed for my head and plucked the ear phone cord off. I realized-I was blank till now. And suddenly- there was the music of silence and the gush of winds. And suddenly, for the first time since last 30 minutes, I felt the gravity of situation. I could listen to my own breath and feel the sweat clogging over my eye brows. I looked at him, a tall slender guy, unlike me- old may be in 70s. White hair, well built, his face was familiar, he was fit a mountaineer may be. But he was a threat; I searched for a rock behind, nothing. I was ready.
He was smiling. One of his hands went into his pocket, and was taking out something. I can fight against a knife, I thought. But it came out with a pen. I felt a bit amazed. But he just smiled and handed it ahead.
What is it? Who are you?- I asked trying to threaten him.
“It’s yours” I looked curiously at him, “you dropped it here yesterday”.
I was not on a mountain, yesterday,
“You were”, and don’t lose it again.
He pushed it ahead into my palm and suddenly made it for the ridge; jumped.
-- --
I was astonished- Hey!!!
I searched the bottom. I looked at it with horror, disbelief, until a click was heard and I saw a red cloth widen up into a triangle, it was a glider. The heart was thumping wild as I watched the glider fly away into the mist down below and then disappear. I was taken aback; my heart was still catching up. For a moment I sat back, the shirt soaked in sweat and mind racing with slide shows & music, the whole world was racing. I closed my eyes, tired, feeling helpless. A moment of peace, as the clocked ticked. I was in peace, no winds, no noise just blankness.
Hey wake up! Wake up mate! Your stop is here- he was shaking me up with my shoulders.
I did not feel weird, just opened my eyes- looked around. The person next to me was shaking me up. “Mister, you will miss your stop. It’s announced 2 minutes.”
I did not say anything- A thank you, may be. Plucking the headset back in my ears; switched the play mode on- “hurricane” and walked ahead. Two minutes ahead, I was down the bus.
I was down the bus, back into my life. But grip in my hand was strong, I could feel the pen. I wasn’t shaking- I was a bit shivering- needed a coffee. I knew where I can find it. The song changed to a sweet melody, I was headed west. I knew the place, no chance of getting lost.
-- --
..........Apurva
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